Posing for the cover of my new album: "Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind"

It's the pecking order, don't blame me..

Good morning. I was expecting breakfast.

My bite will be worse than my bark, I promise.

Can we just forget you saw this?

Fattest.

Taking a back seat from the drama of life.

Wistful.

That's Major Fattie to you, son.

Around the camp fire as the winter evenings draw in.

He's all I've got. Apart from a step-sister.

Feel guilty about not letting me in?

Jealous. And not afraid to show it.

File me under F for fluffy.

Fatter.

Cushion clamp.

Fat. And loving it.

Lousy at hide and seek.

Beneath this soft exterior beats an even softer heart.

Dreams of Morocco.

I am a floorboard accessory.

Uh-huh. Elvis impersonator.