Don't try to deny it - I'm cute.

I told them I'm a Dalmation - got my own kennel now.

The pet shop in Kings Heath has a stray cat that it is considering adopting - she hangs around, climbs in and out of the kennels and rabbit hutches, jumps up on the bird tables and generally makes it clear that she'll be moving in, as and when it suits her.

Now, it's going to be a win-win situation - she's the kind of cat that customers simply have to stroke, she's happy to let them, and it'll get people in the door. Even those people who don't have a pet. Yet.

Caught in the act.

OK, I know it's wrong. I know it's bad. But what cat lover can resist feeding a few strays and other neighbourhood cats? I do it on the sly so Yoshka won't catch me - but the game's up. She knows. And now she lies on my wife's desk all day, watching me carefully as I try to sneak out into the back garden with a few nibbles for the others. Sometimes I'll just finish putting down a handful of food and I look up - and there she is, stood up on the desk, her nosy little face glowering at me.

Yoshka's evil look when I told her we're out of chicken.

Panic!

Yoshka's addicted to Applaws tinned chicken. It's good quality, not much junk added. I'm out of tins so I cycle up to "Paws for Thought" pet shop - and guess what? It's gone bust! And the nearest other pet shop is miles away and doesn't sell Applaws. That's a real nuisance. How am I going to break the news to Yoshka? She'll kill me.

Making life awkward for my wife at her desk

Yoshka nervously secures the place one held by macho dude cat Tigger

Leave me alone.

Sad and confused. But loved like crazy...

Testing woolly blankets - it's a tough job but I volunteered.

Manna from heaven for a cat with a halo.

The feet I'd love to tickle - but she'd bite me.

Big kangaroo legs tucked in, asleep on the bed

So - I'm "a carpet bagger". Is that good?

Bored. I'm really, really bored.